How to Have Gravitas: Command Respect in Any Room

So what what exactly is this gravitas and communication [music] and image? So gravitas think gravity think it's got weight not flimsy it's not going to be knocked over this is character [music] so this is how you act gravitas is your [music] leadership skills part of gravitas is also being an expert in your field [music] are you equipped with all the knowledge and all the expertise that you have to have or even just walking into a meeting room

Welcome to the Confidence Tribe podcast.

I'm Ursula and I am on a mission to help you be seen and heard with impact so that you can grow in your career and in your personal life. Confidence is your superpower. It's you and the most empowered version of you. It's you when you trust yourself even though you don't have all the answers. And that's really great. This is the super thing. Now, if you're like me and you are absolutely obsessed with strengthening the muscles of communication, I'd like to invite you to check out my digital course, [music] Communicating with Confidence for Leaders. All right, let's get into it. We want to strengthen the confidence muscle.

And today we are talking about the topic of [music] presence. Presence. And there's so many different words we can use here. Executive presence, leadership presence, power presence. What is it? And that's often the thing we ask like what is presence and people often say you know it when you see it but what is it and is it something that you're born with it or is it something you can develop? Now I'm I'm in the side of the party in the room that says you can develop this.

You can enhance these traits because presence and especially in the world of executive presence has certain traits that you can strengthen. You can focus on it and where your focus and your energy goes, attention goes, energy grows. Huh? Where attention goes, energy grows. So here's how we can grow it. Now when we say the words executive presence, it's very it's got a context. It's very specific and not everyone is an executive and that doesn't matter. That doesn't mean that this is not for you. I believe that we can take the elements of executive presence and we can use that to build our personal brand.

your personal brand in your business. As a leader in an organization, as somebody in an organization, you have to have a personal brand because this is the currency of business that we're moving in having a personal brand and we need to be deliberate in how we develop the brand. And so for me, when I discovered executive presence, I got really excited. I [snorts] love this world and term of executive presence because it reminds me of my background in acting and we often talk about stage presence and it's when you see that actor or that performer on a stage and you can't take your eyes off them. It's like they've got that balance of great technique and surrendering to the moment and just being like just fully giving to the craft, fully giving to the moment, fully giving surrender to that moment. So it's like the support of technique and presence.

And so in the world of work when people started speaking about executive presence, I was like oo what is this? Let's get into it. And then I found the studies of Sylvia an Hwlet and Sylvia and Hwlet she with a um center of talent innovation. They went and they looked and they said we we want to know what is this executive presence all about and they found that there are these three areas of executive presence and it's your number one gravitas number two your communication number three your image those are the three and I've built my personal brand on these three things and this episode is all about giving you the tools so that you can go build your brand on these three things and be intentional and be strategic about it.

Tribe, is that not confident? And I'm I'm just going to interrupt myself right here and say that if you if you like this type of content and you love building your confidence and your communication skills and getting yourself out there, please follow follow and become a tribe member. Okay, let's get back into it. So, what what exactly is this gravitas and communication and image? There are certain traits that come underneath every single one of them. So, gravitas, think gravity. Think it's got weight.

It's not flimsy. It's not going to be knocked over. This is character. So, this is how you act. Gravitas is your leadership skills. Part of gravitas is also being an expert in your field. Are you equipped with all the knowledge and all the expertise that you have to have or even just walking into a meeting room? So I would go for these coffees with the CEO of a company and he really guided me became like a bit of a mentor and he told me that before he goes to a meeting he makes sure that he knows the most in the room and that meant that he had to prepare more than anybody else. And some of his friends told me how he would sometimes leave an event or a party or something because he had to go prepare for a meeting.

Now that's gravitas. That's you being in a room with weight, with dignity, with expertise. It's really, really strong. Another the part of gravitas is somebody who you know you work hard you play hard and you're also direct and you're able to have hard conversations that's gravitas somebody just calls it out they have the hard conversation they're really really strong so you can you can feel all that strong energy in the gravitas and you can even feel it in your body it's when your feet is planted on the around and your spine is straight and your head is up. So there's like this this expansion in who you are.

A leader who reminds me of Gravitas is someone like Nelson Mandela. So he's really strong. Strong in his presence, strong in who he is, strong in what he stands for. And there's like this sparkle in his eye. Hey, so that's kind of the Nelas Mandela energy. So with gravitas, I want you to remember that it doesn't you don't have to take yourself so seriously. You don't have to take yourself so seriously. I take myself very seriously at times, but it is about you don't have to take yourself so seriously and have the little sparkle in your eye.

Be grounded, be rooted, have the sparkle. It doesn't mean because this once came out for one of my delegates in a workshop. He used to be the clown and we explored this and he said, "Oh, so I'm the clown in the room." Gravitas is different. You can be witty, you can be smart, you can be funny, but it doesn't mean you have to be the clown and take that with you. Have the dignity, have the strength. Okay, so that's gravita. So one thing you can take away from this area is where are you really getting your expertise to that next next level and what is the level of preparation you have to do for your meetings so that you can walk in there and you can know your stuff and then have that body language and have the twinkle in the eye open and curious for anything.

So the next one is our communication. This is how you speak and some of the traits that they found under how you speak under communication. Number one trait is superb speaking skills. Superb speaking skills. That is number one. That is your how articulate are you? What language are you using? How are you using your voice? How are you projecting your voice? Can people hear you? Are you using filler words? What is a filler word? It's all the um um um um you're diminishing yourself or saying like like what are the words and the language you use and how you speak. Another part in communication is can you own the room and the zoom room whether that is Microsoft Teams or whatever online platform you use in your organization.

owning that room, owning that space. Again, how do you do that? And that's the ability and the awareness to start reading the room. And where do you position yourself in the room? And you know, here's a little tip that I love when you're in a meeting room, when you go into a room or maybe in the restaurant, position yourself in a space where you can see the door. So try not to sit with your back against the door with the door behind you, but rather where you can see the door. Why?

Because then you're ready. You're open. You can receive and you're open to who's coming in and not be caught off guard. That's how you have more control of your presence and how you own the room. Another way to own the room, I would say to my delegates and my courses, I would say get to the room early, walk in the room, feel the space, put your energy in the space, and then you've literally physically put the energy in the space and you've calmed yourself down and the nervous system is calm and you can go in the room. You don't have to dash in late or be caught off guard. So all my delegates, I would like bump into them a month later and they would say, "Oh, whenever we have a meeting, we're in the room first." Like, "Yes."

So that's how you can own the room. The Zoom room. How do you own the Zoom room, the Microsoft Team room? Switch that camera on. That's a good one. And I know there's energy management and there's Zoom fatigue and all of that type of thing. Keep it on in strategic moments or important meetings. mostly on and manage where you can. That's important for me. And even times I know how what it feels like like you really you've had a long day. You don't want to switch that camera on. You don't.

But choose the moments where you do switch it on. And I've often found on forums and associations or networking events that are online, when I switch my camera on and I ask questions, people would connect with me later. And that's how I grow my network and how amazing opportunities have come my way through just being present and visible online. And another part of communication is your body language. And here's the threat for us and our confidence and body language. The biggest threat is our relationship with our phones and and computers and our iPads. Why?

Because interacting with our digital devices, they make us small. When you interact on watch people watch people in the road in a coffee shop interact on their phones. They hunch over the posture is out and we are interacting on these tiny devices and we are making ourselves small. But your presence so powerful. And when your posture is open, when the body is open and expanded, the shoulders are back, spine is straight, you take up space. And the most amazing thing then your voice expands and you are heard because that's another trait.

If your voice is soft, who can take you seriously? It doesn't sound like you take yourself seriously. So expand the body, breathe, calm down the nervous system. And then we move into the third pillar, which is your image. Because humans are visual creatures, we receive so much information through our eyes. And in a corporate context, there are different cultures. Some cultures are more laid-back. We have some of the the sneaker cultures lean into that. Or we have the the sneaker sophistication culture. So everyone's wearing sneakers, but they're wearing a blazer and it's really polished. Now, what Sylvia anh found is it's not about looking like a supermodel when you're in that executive role, that CEO or that big role, that presence you want to have. It's not about looking like a supermodel, but it is about looking good, looking the pot, about having the blazer that's clean, having your shoes clean, having and I know you're looking at your shoes right now going, "Oh, what's happening?" I've said this in a room full of people and then I saw a little spot on my shoe. But it happens, right?

It happens [snorts] you. But this is how we receive information. So, it's just having the polished look for the ladies. Oh, this is so much harder for us than it is for guys. I know it's unfair, but for women, we we can't always rock a sneaker as well as a guy can. And I love sneakers. It's really hard for me to say that, but especially for women, like sometimes if you have stage time opportunities, you have to stand on stage or do a presentation, rock the heel. Wear the heel. Don't don't wear the the the sneaker. We we look we we just do better and and even if it's a little heel and I wear tiny heels because like stilettos make me uncomfortable and then I don't walk in confidence but these are things that help us. Now another one for the ladies it sounds so simple but our nails manicured nails. When we have that chip on the nail it undermines us and it undermines our credibility and our competence. It's so unfair, I know, but it does. And so I have a friend who when she had a bit of a pay cut and had a bit of a disruption, I asked her, "What are the things you had to adjust to optimize and to, you know, where are the the changes you had to make and where in your pamper routine did you have to make changes?"

And she looked at me and she said, "Ursula, I'm not letting go of the manicure. [laughter] I am not letting go of that one because I know how important that one is for women. So these are the simple small things that make a big impact and those are the three things that you can build your personal brand on and that is your gravitas, your expertise, your preparation, your your character. It is your communication, how you speak, how well articulated you are, and being seen and being heard and showing up online. And it could even be the Zoom room, the in meeting room, and even the the social media room. And then there's your image, and it's the image that you show the world. And you can craft that, and you can be deliberate about that.

So, I hope this gave you so much value and some thoughts about how you want to put yourself out there in the world. This work is intentional and that is how you increase your presence. And something I didn't say in the beginning, I'm going to end with this is that what Sylvia Anne Huelet found is that 26% of career promotion is based on your executive presence. So 26% of your career growth promotion is on your executive presence.

So build it. Build it. Invest in it. Be intentional about it. The growth, the promotion, the money, all of it. It will come. You do the work. I so loved having you on this episode and please share with me what resonated for you and let me know what topics you'd like me to cover in our next episodes. I'm also going to start bringing guests on board and that's going to be very exciting. So watch this space, follow and be a confident tribe member. Bye guys.